i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
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I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
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I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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