Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
