Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
