I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
