Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
