I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it was like eating out sand paper
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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