It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
