Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
