So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
