She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.