Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out

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(914): View more from New York

all she had left on were here heels. phone five

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.

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19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(408): View more from California

I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.

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(340): View more from US Virgin Islands

I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.

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(574): View more from Indiana

It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me

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(415): View more from California

I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms

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(240): View more from Maryland

FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX

(805): View more from California

You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box

(240): View more from Maryland

Maybe a straw...

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