we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos