did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Randomize
