NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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