Texts From Last Night

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.

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  (520): If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar. http://tfl.nu/t9uo
  Replies (59) Good night (5296) Bad night (912)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.

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  (978): Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success. http://tfl.nu/7k1i
  Replies (12) Good night (2457) Bad night (1007)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.

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  (904): I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything. http://tfl.nu/zym5
  Replies (71) Good night (828) Bad night (2930)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20

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  (919): i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20 http://tfl.nu/xo20
  Replies (72) Good night (5667) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  why weren't you at the audition last night?

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  booty call before role call

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  (804): why weren't you at the audition last night? (1-804): booty call before role call http://tfl.nu/sna4
  Replies (17) Good night (5264) Bad night (1011)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  hes a good boy he deserves a good blow

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  (515): hes a good boy he deserves a good blow http://tfl.nu/pix3
  Replies (92) Good night (7969) Bad night (1305)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.

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  (267): she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon. http://tfl.nu/y6s2
  Replies (11) Good night (3941) Bad night (1529)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.

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  (727): Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water. http://tfl.nu/rvne
  Replies (2) Good night (3629) Bad night (799)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party

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  (512): honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party http://tfl.nu/io10
  Replies (6) Good night (2297) Bad night (704)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.

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  (778): Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me. http://tfl.nu/t7ew
  Replies (2) Good night (1949) Bad night (1227)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets

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  (970): I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets http://tfl.nu/8nkk
  Replies (2) Good night (1368) Bad night (765)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.

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  (330): You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka. http://tfl.nu/837a
  Replies (6) Good night (1022) Bad night (1055)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?

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  (281): Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again? http://tfl.nu/lpz3
  Replies (7) Good night (1742) Bad night (575)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Where else would I get life advice?

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  (704): Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right. (575): Where else would I get life advice? http://tfl.nu/mfwy
  Replies (0) Good night (542) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates

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  (774): I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates http://tfl.nu/tc5h
  Replies (2) Good night (299) Bad night (555)

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