i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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