your room smells of hookers.
And success
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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