i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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