Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
