i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize