I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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