do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
where are my eyebrows?
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