also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize