people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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