I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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