carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
