are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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