I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
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I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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