bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Randomize
