Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
