I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
