he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
