Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
