i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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