have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
