I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize