he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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