We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Randomize
