I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Girls should come with a carfax report
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
