Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize