So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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