apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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