ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
