i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
