It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
