sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
