he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
