My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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