whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
