i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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