i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
