I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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