So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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