Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
