I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
