i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
