just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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