i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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