I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
