this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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