isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
