I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
No subtext here. People are naked.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
