dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
