I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize