Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
