I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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