Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm too high and old for this...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
