btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
