I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
handjob tips. give me some.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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