I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize