There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
