too bad you live with your parents still
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize